People Are Getting Up at 4am for Fun
Are you one of them?
Tim Cook, CEO of Apple, gets up at 3.45 am every morning to read his emails.
That sounds fun.
In my twenties, I worked as a mailman and had to rise at 4 am to get to the depot by 5. I hated it and only did it because I was broke.
I hate getting up early. I would rather file my nails with a harpoon gun than get up at four o’clock in the morning.
Tim Cook claims in another interview — although this time he says he gets up at 4 am, lazy bastard! — that he likes getting up early because
“He has the freedom to spend his time as he sees fit.”
But you’re worth $2 billion, Tim.
If that sort of money doesn’t give you the freedom of the road at ANY TIME of the day, then your head has been screwed on backward by an Apple intern who thought she was working for Google.
You’ve set a terrible trend, Tim. Now everyone’s getting up at four.
“Why I Get up at 4 am!”
This is a common title on blog posts these days.
Tell me if I’m wrong, but aren’t you tired? Like ALL the time!
Timmy Cook says that after he’s read his emails, he goes to the gym for an hour, has breakfast, then goes to the office, where he stays until everyone has gone home.
I’m tired just reading about it. When does this guy go to bed? Like at seven!
— “Hey, Tim, wanna come out tonight for a pizza and beer?”
“Sorry, I’ve got to go to bed. I’ve got to get up soon.”
Human evolution dictates that we should be asleep at four o’clock in the morning. Otherwise, we would have been designed with massive fuck-off eyes.
Like this.
But we weren’t. We have shitty weak eyes that need daylight. Which is why we generally get up when the sun rises.
There are very few places in the world where the sun rises at 4 am. Mainly countries above 60 degrees latitude, where not many people live because in winter it’s freezing cold and dark.
Therefore, most folks live in better climates and generally get up at seven. According to a YouGov Poll in the UK, the average Brit gets up at 6.55 am, and they go to bed at 10.39 pm.
This is still too early for me. I get up at 8 am and 10 am on weekends.
This is early compared to Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones, who famously gets up in the afternoon. Probably at about the time Tim Cook is having yet another meeting, after having already been up for twelve hours.
Call me old-fashioned, but I think I know who I’d rather be, hey Tim!
For more early morning comedy, check out 21st Century Comedy here.
All my posts are free. But if you want to support me, there’s an option of $1 - $5 a month! If not, forget about it.
👎🏻 not for me
I LOL'ed, Philip. The owl graphic is my favorite -- love that.
But thanks a lot! This has me feeling like a real slacker, because I sleep in until 5:00 a.m. most mornings.
Those hours between 5 - 9 a.m. are the most valuable in my day because the world is quiet and sleepy, and I can think and write without interruption. After 9 a.m. the day turns into chaos and it's hard to get anything else done.